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Negotiating your salary can feel intimidating, whether you’re starting a new job or discussing a raise with your current employer. I’ve been there: sitting across the table, heart racing, second-guessing every response. But one thing is clear — avoiding or mishandling the conversation can cost you in the long run. A misstep in these discussions could mean starting with lower pay, and with typical annual raises around 3% to 4%, it can take years to make up the difference.
So, how do you handle these conversations confidently without jeopardizing the offer? The key lies in knowing what not to do. Avoid these four red flags to navigate salary discussions with professionalism, clarity, and poise.
1. Being Aggressive or Hostile
While confidence is vital during salary negotiations, aggression is a surefire way to derail the conversation. Employers seek candidates who are professional and collaborative, not combative. A hostile attitude can make hiring managers second-guess their decision to bring you on board.
What Not to Do:
Imagine receiving an offer that feels below your expectations. Responding with, “That’s unacceptable!” or “Is this some kind of joke?” can create unnecessary tension and make you seem difficult to work with.
What to Do Instead:
Maintain a calm and collaborative tone. For example, say:
“I was hoping for something closer to $70,000 based on my experience and market research. Is there room to move closer to that range?”
This approach keeps the conversation respectful and positions you as someone willing to work together toward a solution. Employers prefer working with people who are pleasant and professional, so keep it cool and focus on finding common ground.
2. Avoiding the Salary Talk
Dodging the salary question is a rookie mistake. It’s tempting to deflect by saying, “I’m flexible” or “What’s your budget?” While it’s wise to understand the company’s budget, completely avoiding the question can make you seem unprepared or unsure of your value.
What Not to Do:
Don’t respond with vague answers like, “I’m open to negotiation” or “Let’s see what you offer.”
What to Do Instead:
Come prepared with a well-researched range based on your skills, experience, and the industry standard for your role. Tools like Glassdoor, PayScale, and Indeed can provide valuable insights.
Here’s a confident and informed response:
“Based on my experience and research, I’m targeting a salary in the $70,000 to $80,000 range. Does that align with your budget?”
By stating a range, you show that you’ve done your homework and value your contributions. This keeps the conversation constructive and positions you as a professional who knows their worth.
3. Over-Negotiating
While it’s essential to advocate for yourself, pushing for too many changes can backfire. Employers may start to see you as difficult or high-maintenance, which could lead to them reconsidering the offer altogether.
What Not to Do:
Let’s say you’ve successfully negotiated a higher base salary and secured flexible work hours. Piling on additional requests, such as gym memberships, extra vacation days, and stock options, may signal that you’re never satisfied.
What to Do Instead:
Focus on the aspects of the offer that matter most to you. Prioritize your requests and be willing to let go of minor perks.
For example:
“I really appreciate the salary adjustment and flexible work hours. Those address my biggest priorities. I’m happy to move forward with the offer as it stands.”
This approach demonstrates gratitude and shows that you’re easy to work with. Remember, building trust and fostering a positive relationship with your employer is just as important as getting what you want.
4. Sounding Ungrateful
Gratitude goes a long way in salary negotiations. Even if the initial offer isn’t what you hoped for, expressing appreciation sets a positive tone and encourages a collaborative discussion.
What Not to Do:
Avoid immediately criticizing the offer or sounding dismissive. For example, saying, “That’s it? I was expecting way more,” can create awkwardness and damage rapport.
What to Do Instead:
Start by acknowledging the offer and expressing gratitude before presenting your counteroffer.
Try this approach:
“Thank you for the offer and for considering my application. I’m really excited about the opportunity and contributing to the team. Based on my research and experience, I was hoping for a salary closer to $75,000. Is there room to adjust the offer?”
This shows respect and appreciation while keeping the conversation productive. Employers value employees who are both passionate about the role and fair in their negotiations.
Final Thoughts
Salary negotiations don’t have to be intimidating. By steering clear of these four red flags — aggression, dodging the salary talk, over-negotiating, and sounding ungrateful — you can build trust, demonstrate professionalism, and secure a fair compensation package.
Remember, a successful negotiation isn’t just about money; it’s about setting the foundation for a positive working relationship and long-term career growth. Stay calm, confident, and collaborative, and you’ll walk away with a win-win outcome.
Good luck — you’ve got this!
